I was recently asked what my expectations were surrounding Valentine’s Day.

Though I answered humbly that I hadn’t really thought about it and it wasn’t important; it’s my view that all women have some sort of expectation that is most likely completely incongruent as to what the man in their lives thinks is “good enough”, or “that should do it”. Some men might argue that they deserve a Valentine’s gift as well…get over it guys….this is our holiday and our chance to fantasize about the possibilities of romance. You just had the Super Bowl party and game of your dreams, plus I understand that car racing season just started again so a constant preoccupation with how you are going to get away to a television each weekend to watch the race is now monopolizing your thoughts…the woman in your life deserves at least this one day.

Roses are great, I personally would never turn down flowers and it’s always secretly exciting to have all of the envious eyes on you if perchance the aromatic sentiment is delivered to you at your place of work. It does kind of depend on where a person happens to be employed…some working environments detract from the moment, no matter how beautiful the flower or thoughtful and emotional the card attached. On that note…if he’s going to do it right, it can get expensive and as with most cut flowers, they do tend to die eventually. Some of us have to stretch our imaginations slightly to keep the romance alive when we see the drooping, wilted, molding flowers in the vase five days later. That said, nothing beats that unfettered skip in your heart when you first see the perfect bouquet of large-bud, long-stemmed, velvety red roses meant only for you.

Candy, yes another option, but come on guys. Didn’t you read my last article? We are still trying to stick to our New Year’s resolutions and of course, the lenten season has begun lest we forget. But it’s simple, easy and the heart-shaped boxes are pretty….I guess you could pick that up and then say to yourself: “There, that should do it.” Plus you could buy it on Monday and with the weather being what it is, the candy would keep in the truck until Thursday when you might run across something during your day that will remind you to give it to “that someone special” in your life.

I’ve heard some men feel that lingerie is a highly romantic and appropriate gift for this time of year. Let me clue you in on a little something guys, if you weren’t already aware: we’re on to you, we know that sort of thing is truly a gift to yourselves. Ladies, if that’s the sort of gift you receive, you should be thankful that it isn’t a purse or some other item of clothing. He went to the trouble of buying it for you, you might feel obligated to actually use it or wear it even though it’s probably totally wrong for you and therefore hideous….at least with lingerie, no one else would have to see it. One should always stop to count their blessings.

Gifts, in my view, needn’t cost anything. There is no price on an impromptu neck/shoulder rub or a foot massage at the end of the day. We women carry all of our stress in our shoulders and all of our weight, for 14 or more hours a day, on our feet. Most of us are too busy to pay attention to ourselves so a little unassuming pampering focused on those areas from someone else without asking, might be the best gift. For some, a romantic note, even if it’s a poem copied from a book, the unexpected always fosters a sense of curiosity and allure. You could always offer to make dinner for the family, but only if you are able to pull it off and only if you are also willing to clean up afterwards, including washing the dishes. Oh and the best for last…offer to pick up the kids or to take them to one of their practices so she doesn’t have to drop everything in the afternoon; allowing her the rare luxury of actually finishing a project she’s started, for a change. Trust me, this sort of thing is a secret desire of most women on a daily basis; to have someone to step in as the family escort service…just for a day.

Most importantly, give her some thought. If you know her and you think about it for a time, you will know what she wants, what small gesture from you melts her heart…but it takes time and thought. I don’t think any woman would ask for much more. If you simply have no clue and you have to ask…you might be over thinking…keep it simple and just take her into consideration…and that is guaranteed to be “good enough”.