My brother Chuck and I turn 40 together this year along with the rest of the class of ’86. This is supposed to be some sort of milestone in our lives so I figured I’d better do some pondering and spend adequate, quality time in deep contemplation on the subject. I became so engrossed in my thoughts that I completely forgot to call Chuck on the day of his big “milestone”; funny, it didn’t seem like a big deal to him…I guess that’s the way it should be….no big deal.

I tend to watch a lot of make-over television, I think this draw has something to do with the secret wish we all have of winning that lottery. Wouldn’t it be great for someone to swoop down and hand over a new wardrobe, surgically tuck that tummy, or inject those wrinkles away so you could superficially become that person you might imagine yourself to be….for free? Anyway, with TV personalities showing us that youthful looks are so important and that “50 is the new 40”, I can accept that most people believe that this 40th birthday may very well mark the downward slide of the rest of my life. “It’s all downhill from here” is the most common/quick response I hear when I tell people how old I will be on my upcoming birthday. This completely contradicts the image I have had as I prepare for the final take off from my thirties. I can’t wait to move on and my attitude about aging has generally been this: “I can’t believe I made it this far!” It’s my view that more life is always a gift at any age; it should be celebrated, embraced, and one should stop every now and then, when they are looking at that slightly older but wiser face in the mirror, and say a little thank you…which I try to do regularly. I’d like to think I’m not even half way there. So the idea of a downward slide seems so far out of reach because every day I’m still climbing higher and higher and I can’t even see the peak from where I stand at this particular point. I’m nowhere near ready to head down the other side just yet.

Let’s think about it: your 20’s are filled with that struggle of being at the bottom of the totem pole in any job you take, attempting to ace a test several times a week, in subjects you really don’t care about, studying information you know you will never use again, in order to obtain that coveted college degree just so you can get on with life. Don’t get me wrong: you look hot; hotter than you will ever look again in your lifetime, trust me, but relationships tend to be rather superficial. If you happen to marry young; the growing pains of a marriage, for two people in their early 20s, has to be difficult no matter how compatible. I’m just guessing on that one; I know how much I change between the ages of 21 and 30….it’s hard enough growing up during that time, alone… much less having to try to remain dedicated to a partner who is branching out and growing up as well. For the many of you out there who have marriages that survived ….I am personally amazed…the two of you should be proud and you both have even more to celebrate.

The 30’s for a better part of us; were spent, bent over, chasing small children and worrying every minute that they might roll down a set of stairs or fall into a well or something. We found ourselves knee deep in diapers, daycare bills, road trips to sporting events, and complete isolation from our friends because it’s just more gratifying to use that evening time, after the kids are in bed, to sit back and put our feet up rather than squeeze into clothes that used to fit and go “out”. I realize there are those of you out there who have been able to find that balance better than the rest of us, but raising kids is hard work and if you aren’t grateful when they get to that age where they can at least be at home by themselves while you run to the store…well then, you are either a saint or you have masochistic tendencies. Okay, I may be overstating it….slightly…. and don’t get me wrong, I adore parenthood; it’s the most meaningful relationship I will ever experience. That said; I never thought I would cherish being able to just jump in the car and drive across that river to get milk and back again without saying a word to anyone. No whining, no back talk, no one taking over my radio…..just a 3 minute drive to the store and a 3 minute drive back….sometimes I go for milk when we don’t even need milk. It’s bliss I tell you!!! But that’s just me.

I’m so looking forward to my 40s! This is the time where we start to enjoy the fruits of our labor of the last two decades. Lately, I’ve been reading more about facing your 40s; the doom and gloom and the wrinkle-worries but I’m choosing to take a more positive view. We finally have years behind us and a solid standing at our jobs, some of us even own our own businesses, most of us have been there long enough to get that coveted, extra week of vacation. Those among us who chose the life study of “agronomics” might be starting to see the light as a farmer and getting a little ahead (though they would never admit it…just ask one… at any age). We have almost half of our mortgage paid off, maybe more, we’ve started to accumulate some retirement money…we are able to imagine retirement is a possibility. We will feel the disdain of our teenage children and they will push our hearts to the breaking point multiple times but we will also watch proudly as they graduate from high school and college. Our hearts will mend and melt when we marry them off and then, when we recover from that, we will rejoice in the fact that we have the house to ourselves again, and we could become grandparents…possibly….all within this decade of our lives.

So we’ve got a few more wrinkles, it’s becoming more difficult to lose weight…like it was ever easy, I find that I personally, am a little more cranky, I’ve always had that problem but now it’s just more often and on a grander scale. I’m looking forward to experiencing those “power surges” that we lucky females are blessed with at some time and fortunately, this too shall pass. It helps to keep in mind that this is just a means to a wonderful end in my view. On the other hand, I’ve read that the female libido peaks during a woman’s 40s…that’s something anyone should look forward to!

I digress. The really important things in life are all in front of us and I for one, am so ready to take it all in; so no black balloons or “R.I.P” cakes for us please. This is just the beginning….let’s get this decade started!