Category Archives: Comedy

The Zen of Mowing

I’m having this parenting-type dilemma lately, maybe some of you can relate. complaints surrounding the chore of mowing and the time it consumes in my already busy week are a somewhat common vein in my repartee of conversation. My caring and helpful circle of friends and relatives recommend I pass this mundane task along to my daughter. We were, after all, taking on this and even greater responsibilities at her age.

“So what’s the problem?” you might ask. I think I’m the one who’s not ready to let it go. The plan and simple truth is that I LIKE mowing. There; I’ve said it out loud, I’ve admitted it. I complain at times but with only a half-hearted commitment to the whining. mowing has always been a sort of “Zen” place of peace for me, right from the beginning. There’s that almost, but not quite deafening white noise blocking out, not only sounds, but most of your thoughts, leaving behind an empty page with which to imagine, create, or de-stress, in effect: meditate.

when we were kids, we used headphones while we cut the endless acres of lawn. I would be able to listen to my music without another sibling interrupting, initiating a volume war or taunting me with challenges that my taste in music was crap. Hours spent alone with only my choice of music or my voice in my head were cherished moments in a family with 9 kids.

Even now it’s a place and time where I can think things through, go through the events of the day in peace, and sometimes just admire the environment that surrounds me without TV or other human voices invading my thought process. There’s something about the concentric circles, the two-tone, parallel lines, the undeniable completion of a job that clarifies one’s acceptance of an imperfect world. It’s the mindfulness of these daily experiences that is at the core of meditation, as I understand it, this leads to enlightenment. I’ll bet you didn’t know you could get all of that from a job well done out there on the green.

I come across this “stress reliever” toy in the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog every now and then and it kind of reminds me of the grass-cutting-zen-experience. It’s a small, personal sandbox that you can keep on your desk and it comes with a rake and some sort of tiny hoe. The idea is that you take time to sit and “draw” lines in the sand to calm your nerves or you “draw” circles to “center” yourself. People pay a lot of money for those little, tiny sandboxes, in order to “find their inner peace”. Personally, I’d rather get the same effect from mowing my lawn with the added bonus of actually accomplishing something, rather than just sitting and playing with a GI Joe-sized hoe and rake in a miniature cat litter box at my desk. That might be what is holding me back from becoming a successful entrepreneur/businessperson….but it’s difficult to say.

Letting go might be an additional key to enlightenment and I, obviously, need to work on that. I’m coming to the realization that a “tween” will not willingly volunteer to do anything. However, they aren’t so far gone into their inevitable, teen aged, hormonal craziness that they won’t do what you tell them to do….just yet. If I took her out there and handed over the pull start/key to my mowing machine, I’m sure she would do a wonderful job but I’m not so sure she would appreciate the solitude and the time for meditation. It would just be another annoying chore for her and I still view that as a waste of a good mow. So I will continue to take advantage of this time in the summer….maybe I’ll come up with a doozy of an article some time this month while I follow my mower….that’s what I should be thinking about rather than focusing on my own inner peace….there are those of you out there that might whole-heartedly agree.

It’s finally okay to be Green.

I managed to finish painting another wall in my house this weekend. Thanks to the beautiful rain and cool weather, I faced no guilt staying inside to work on this unfinished winter project. Whenever I paint or mow or do any sort of task of the like where other human beings become scarce, lest they be asked to help, my mind is prone to doin’ some deep thinkin’. Well, as deep as one gets with the shallow raw materials I’ve been blessed with.

My daughter and I watched this program last week that depicted the earth in the year 2100. It was, as she complained several times through the first hour of the program; “too depressing”. I’m glad I decided to stick with it until the end and so was she. I know it might have been considered a propaganda-type program by some but it gave us hope. One of the most interesting stories had to do with the fate of the people on Easter Island. The program took us back to the community of people that used to flourish on that island until they cut all of the trees down, used up all of the natural resources and there was nothing left to support life. The hanging question being; “What was going through the mind of that person who cut down that last tree?” In their case, they could easily look around and see that there were no more trees standing; no more shade, no more produce, no more life as it were. With the rest of us, it’s easy to put it out of our minds as we toss that aluminum can into the trash, it’s easy to say; “I’ll do better next time.” or “It’s just one can, it won’t make that much of a difference.”

The hope I was talking about came from idea that the civilizations that survived at the end of this program, in the “future” as they imagined it, were those that started conserving and making those small and large efforts now…today. They showed several story buildings in New York, each floor with their own greenhouse gardens and trees on the rooftops and the use of sun and wind as energy sources, seemed to be key. The city of Greensburg was mentioned and replicas of it had popped us all over the Midwestern United States because they were completely functional on their own and didn’t depend on outside resources for their electricity or water.

I’m simplifying everything for sure but my daughter and I had a New Year’s resolution this year to learn more about recycling/conservation and to make more of an effort to stick with it and actually do it. Boy! This was more of a commitment than I realized it was going to be. It takes work every day but we began building a list of things that we can do now in addition to a “wish list” of things that we try to do more and more. Here’s some of that list:

  1. Walk there. Raise your hand if you’ve every parked at “Do It Best” to pick up a bag of salt or a garden hose, got back in your car and drove over to the “Mini Mart” parking lot to pick up some bread and milk. Or you finished your breakfast at the “Corner Cafe” and drove down to “Ron’s” to pick up a prescription. I’m embarrassed to admit that I have….used to. It may take some extra time but consider walking there, if you are physically able, whenever you can. You know, “across town” in North Bend is really just 10 blocks or so…in Morse Bluff….two. Shopping malls are set up now with every store you could possibly need there on the strip within walking distance, there’s really no need to move your car as you go from store to store.
  2. Use those reusable grocery bags. I know you’ve got them, every time I come into a store with mine, everyone in line comments on how they have them in the back seat of the car but they forget them. It won’t take much to walk back out and get them, I have to do it all the time. My commitment to the practice of using my grocery bags was not the current, passing fad or the impulse buying of them at the cash register at every convenience store. It was/is the unshakable vision of those blue and white plastic bags that pepper every open field you look at these days. The next time you are taking a drive in the country; you know…along 30 or 79….look out across a field and count the number of plastic bags you see, if you are able to count that high. As you get closer to Fremont, the numbers get higher. Just ask a farmer if they’ve noticed a difference over the past 10 years, they’ll tell you. The kids that bag your groceries will moan and groan and try to pass you off to another bagger every time they see you at the register but you’ll get used to it, it’s a small price to pay and you can consider the fact that you are setting an example.
  3. Recycle. We are starting with just the basics: milk bottles, plastic bottles, cardboard and aluminum cans, in order to get into the habit. We are so far from perfect, but we are trying. I’m currently attempting to find a glass recycling place that’s near here and if anyone can help me out with that one, please write the paper and let me know. But, cut yourself a break, recycling is a huge undertaking! Much larger than I imagined it would have been. I’ll admit it, I used to be very diligent about recycling when I lived in a town where you just had to leave the green box of recyclables at the end of the driveway and that’s where my responsibility ended. It’s more of a challenge when you have to store the stuff until you can haul it off, you have to haul the stuff and you have to figure out where it needs to be hauled. We are lucky that both Prague and North Bend have drop off receptacles because that makes more of the recycling easier. We just need to do it and train our family to do it until it becomes a habit.
  4. Grow your own. I know I talked about my garden “fun” last month but those seeds are so much less expensive than the produce. Even if you factor in the labor, a little water if it doesn’t rain enough and some plant food. Think of the money you will save at the gym….it evens itself out…plus you know what you are eating.
  5. Carpool. Every chance you get. If you are going to dinner with friends; consider meeting at a central location and doing an old fashioned road trip to the restaurant, it’ll give you more time to catch up. Consider it for your drive to work, it will take some rearranging, but it’s possible. I’m still going it alone every day and I hate that. Here’s another thing I’ll never understand; we put all the kids on a bus to go to the game, why are the parents all driving up there separately? We’ve got to take the kids up to the school to put them on the bus anyway….why not have a couple of buses for the fans? It takes a little extra planning but we are all on our cell phones and text messaging anyway. Use that technology for something productive for a change and plan a carpool next time instead of just talking about nothing and calling to ask; “What are you doing?” I hate that too.
  6. Water Conservation. Consider replacing some of the juicy Nebraska foliage we are used to having in our front yards with less water-demanding type flowers and plants. I’m still researching this and experimenting because I love my flowers so it’s a work in progress. I have found that, for example, geraniums don’t require near as much water as say daisies or petunias and that’s just the potted, annual-type flower. I’ve got a long way to go in this area. The big one: a green lawn, is something that I’ve always let the rain determine, but that’s me. It’s not a status symbol to me to have the best looking lawn in the neighborhood so I can’t really say that’s a result of any sort of conscious conservation on my part…just coincidence. Please take a minute and think about the amount of water that goes into a green lawn, then multiply that by one single neighborhood…it’s mind boggling what we use for this strange, accepted “necessity” that really serves little productive, purpose.

That’s most of it so far. I did buy a diesel burner (don’t worry, it’s emissions are conservative as well) that is supposed to get up to 59 miles to the gallon to replace the one I had that made 48 mpg but that was more of a reaction to gas prices than to conservation though I really do go to the pump less than most people I know. The car is currently averaging only 45 mpg but that might have to do with my driving prowess more than with performance. I’m reading more and more about how to drive to get the most from my gas tank, it’s just a matter of giving up some speed….a whole lot of speed….in my case.

Maybe you could consider that my green lawn; that thing that I’m not ready to make changes to in order to conserve. Survival of the fittest is an interesting phenomenon and this readiness to make these small changes in our lives will be a determining factor. There’s always room for “hope” when we are open to change.